Grief. It is such a unreal thing.
I have never experienced anything like it, thats for sure.
It is completely unpredictable.
Monday was an okay day. I felt pretty good, no major meltdowns.
But the past two days have been super hard. I don't know if it is the gloomy weather and being stuck inside, but it just hit me really hard. I am learning what it really means to live in God's grace, moment by moment. To take every thought captive to Him.
Because I have some crazy thoughts and some crazy fears. Because when someone you love dies, you start thinking about other people you love, too. It is just ridiculous.
Because my hope IS IN JESUS and I know that i have NOTHING to fear...our hope is not in this world.
But I am being attacked by those thoughts and I am claiming His promises. One being:
Hebrews 4:16:
"Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
Despite my heartache, even in the midst of the darkest moments, I have an inexplainable peace. A peace that ONLY comes from Jesus Christ. It is ONLY by His grace and mercy.
I do feel the Holy Spirit whispering things to me. Even some things Cade has said to me, I believe the Lord put in his mouth to comfort me. I am being broken and molded through this and I cannot make it through without Him. People keep commenting to me that I am so strong. But I'M not. HE is. I was telling Emily yesterday that I have been clinging to this song, just like she did in her hardest hours. I am so grateful that she posted it on her blog back in May. And Star, if your out there, I am so grateful that the Lord put this song in your heart. It has truly blessed me.
I am Strong in the Lord
I am strong in the Lord
and in the power of His might
I confess that my strength, it comes from Him.
On my own, I am weak
and I cannot see to fight.
But my strength, it comes from the Lord.
I lift my eyes up.
Where does my help come from?
It comes from the Lord,
Creator of Heaven and Maker of Earth.
He is the fortress of salvation
for His children as they cry.
You are the Lord,
you are the strength, the strength of my life.
You held out Your hand,
and Your healing power,
causing my eyes to see.
You poured down Your Word,
in my darkest hour,
teaching my heart to see...
That I am strong in the Lord
and in the power of His might.
I confess that my strength, it comes from Him, alone.
On my own, I am weak
and I cannot see to fight.
But my strength, it comes from the Lord..
I have never experienced anything like it, thats for sure.
It is completely unpredictable.
Monday was an okay day. I felt pretty good, no major meltdowns.
But the past two days have been super hard. I don't know if it is the gloomy weather and being stuck inside, but it just hit me really hard. I am learning what it really means to live in God's grace, moment by moment. To take every thought captive to Him.
Because I have some crazy thoughts and some crazy fears. Because when someone you love dies, you start thinking about other people you love, too. It is just ridiculous.
Because my hope IS IN JESUS and I know that i have NOTHING to fear...our hope is not in this world.
But I am being attacked by those thoughts and I am claiming His promises. One being:
Hebrews 4:16:
"Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
Despite my heartache, even in the midst of the darkest moments, I have an inexplainable peace. A peace that ONLY comes from Jesus Christ. It is ONLY by His grace and mercy.
I do feel the Holy Spirit whispering things to me. Even some things Cade has said to me, I believe the Lord put in his mouth to comfort me. I am being broken and molded through this and I cannot make it through without Him. People keep commenting to me that I am so strong. But I'M not. HE is. I was telling Emily yesterday that I have been clinging to this song, just like she did in her hardest hours. I am so grateful that she posted it on her blog back in May. And Star, if your out there, I am so grateful that the Lord put this song in your heart. It has truly blessed me.
I am Strong in the Lord
I am strong in the Lord
and in the power of His might
I confess that my strength, it comes from Him.
On my own, I am weak
and I cannot see to fight.
But my strength, it comes from the Lord.
I lift my eyes up.
Where does my help come from?
It comes from the Lord,
Creator of Heaven and Maker of Earth.
He is the fortress of salvation
for His children as they cry.
You are the Lord,
you are the strength, the strength of my life.
You held out Your hand,
and Your healing power,
causing my eyes to see.
You poured down Your Word,
in my darkest hour,
teaching my heart to see...
That I am strong in the Lord
and in the power of His might.
I confess that my strength, it comes from Him, alone.
On my own, I am weak
and I cannot see to fight.
But my strength, it comes from the Lord..
August 22, 2008 at 1:14 PM
praying for you through this tough time...