Words fail me as I try to write this post.
I want it to be eloquent and honoring, but my thoughts are so scattered right now.
My dad went to be with his sweet Jesus Saturday morning, August 9th.
My dad was an avid reader of this blog since he lived in Fort Worth, and I want to do him right by this post.
My dad was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis over 15 years ago. He has struggled for a long time with pain and other sickness that went along with the disease. We lost my grandma(his mom) in 1996 and he really struggled with that.
He would be the first to admit to you his faults and I feel like to bring him honor I need to give a little back story.
He struggled for many years with addiction to his painkillers.
In the last year, God had transformed his life completely.
He went to live in Fort Worth with a good friend from high school and his wife and daughter. They ministered their socks off to him and God brought forth the fruit. I had not seen him this happy in years.
He even got his drivers license on Friday and he had wanted that for years.
In the last year, he got to spend a lot of time with us and Cade and Chloe and with my brother. He was getting to ride a bike, and go camping, and play golf....things he had not been able to do for years.
But most of all, he was growing closer everyday to his Lord and Savior.
I am so thankful for that and for the fact that he died in his sleep, in peace.
I have no doubt in my mind that he is dancing with angels in Heaven and he is with his sweet mom, my Grams. I have no doubt that my God is Jehovah-Rapha and that my dad is completely healed and perfect.
People keep asking me the "cause of death" and we still don't know what is physically is. But I know that the cause of death is that God numbered his days before the foundations of the earth and that it was his time. I find such comfort knowing that this is no surprise to my God. He knew he would be called home at that exact moment.
I know that I will grieve and cry and mourn, and I am hurting more than I ever have, but I know that my dad would not want me or anyone to go around being sad for him. He wants Jesus to be glorified through his life and death and I plan to help that happen.
Last time he was in town, just a couple of weeks ago, he kept telling my brother and me how proud he was of us and how much he loved us.
He wrote me and Cody a letter.
He hugged Cade and Chloe so many times.
I just wonder if he knew. I believe that he might have. I believe that he might have been talking to God, a lot.
So, whoever out there is reading this, please pray for our family and for peace. I pray that other family members are finding peace in the Lord like I am and that I can share that peace with them.
I love you dad with all my heart and I am so thankful for you. I will miss you more than words can say. But I find such hope in knowing that I will see you again one day. Please know that your memory and life will live on and that with Jesus I will live to glorify your Creator through this.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light, momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we do not look to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."
* My dad was a youth pastor back in the day and still had a great passion for young people to be reached for Christ. If you feel so led, in lieu of flowers, we are asking for donations to the Greater Houston Region of Young Life.
You can send donations to:
Young Life Greater Houston Region
900 Town and Country
Suite 302
Houston, Texas 77024-2226
*His obituary can be read on www.chron.com. His name is Jeff Taylor.
August 12, 2008 at 12:03 AM
Amanda,
I will be praying for you and your family. I'm sorry to hear of your sudden loss, but I am encouraged to hear your Dad's story. Love you!
Amy
August 12, 2008 at 2:01 PM
Amanda, I am so very sorry for you and your familys loss. I can not imagine what you must be feeling and going thru. You have me in tears from reading what you wrote. It was beautiful and truly something special to recognize the wonderful man your father way. We will be praying for you and everyone in your family in this tragic time. You show me what God can do in a persons life and because of that, it brings me closer to Him. I want to know Him more and want my children to know Him. Again, I am very sorry for your loss and please know there are many people praying for you all.
August 12, 2008 at 2:08 PM
Amanda - I have been praying for you family. My mom is married to Gordon Morris...who's family was good friends of your dads...and my mom told me about this the day it happened. Please know there are many people out there praying for you and your family and I know He will be by your side. If you need anything please let me know.
August 13, 2008 at 2:05 AM
a beautiful tribute to him, and what better way than to glorify God in it all. Praying for you all. Love, Em
August 15, 2008 at 2:28 AM
"Amanda-taylor"....
YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN! I am so encouraged by you ANY time I read your blogs really but what a testimony to your deep relationship with Jesus that even in what has got to be some of the darkest moments your sweet life has known..You are ministering to others! I was blessed to have met your dad and I know things have been hard in the past! I am so glad that your relationship was restored fully with your daddy and his with his Heavenly Father as well! You very eloquently wrote about your dad and your feelings...you definatley did him justice in my opinion! I LOVE YOU GIRL...YOUR FAMILY IS BEAUTIFUL AND I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!
LOVE YOU GIRL,
MACY
August 18, 2008 at 3:09 PM
Amanda, I want you to know that I am praying for you and your family a ton! Words cannot express how grateful I am that you found me on myspace 3 months ago and reconnected me with your dad. That was such a fun day!! Jeff meant the absolute world to me! I am completely heartbroken but only comforted knowing that he is dancing with Jesus like you said. I have had so much fun reconnecting with him on the phone: laughing, giving him a hard time, talking about the Lord, and just catching up. He had so much peace and was so in love with the Lord and of course, loved you all so, so much! He really challenged/encouraged me in conversations about spiritual things and that i will treasure forever. You all have such a special and dear place in my heart...you have no idea. Love you!
August 20, 2008 at 5:10 PM
Amanda, i'm so sorry to read of your loss. even through tears, as i read this, i am SO encouraged by your hope and faith. ben and i will be praying for you and your family during this difficult time.
August 26, 2008 at 10:35 PM
hey amanda,
i am so sorry to hear about your dad. i am praying for you and love you.
m
October 8, 2008 at 11:29 AM
Amanda, I just read this, and I am so sorry! I know it's not been easy, but I am thankful to read that God is providing peace and comfort. I pray for the hard days that will come, that you will turn your eyes upon Jesus!
Miss you!
February 14, 2010 at 11:49 PM
what a beautiful post. i pray the months since august have brought healing.
Thank you for your comments on my blog, it is very nice to 'meet' you, i love that there is another mother out there who is thought of as cooky...IM NOT ALONE!!:)
Your pictures are great, you have a beautiful family!
June 10, 2010 at 12:02 PM
Amanda, I just read this post for the first time and I am crying and praising God at the same time. Your Dad's prayers for you are answered in you In Christ, it is obvious that the Holy Spirit of God reigns in you and your family. I may have known your father better than anyone and He is watching you as He dances with those angels and is so full of praise for the majesty of his Lord in your life. Your father was a stranger and alien to this world and could not fit into it because it was not his home. He is now in that place Father prepared for him and he is Home. I miss him terribly, but sometimes-like now- it really seems like he is sitting right next to me. Who knows-maybe he is? You and your family are clothed in the garments of praise and the rightousness of Christ forever. You father;s friend and your friend for life...Jeff Rankin